Okay, I am sharing them to you. Enjoy and do not laugh too loud.
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D guy nluv w/ his gf. Wen they broke up, he can’t take it.
after 1 yr..
Its the girls b’day.
Guy: hello babes, i remembered ur birthday even f u hurt me..
D girl cried.
gurl: im sorry..Can i embrace u for the last time?
Guy: i love you so much. Here’s a card for you.
Gurl: thank you. I love you too Babes.
Guy: It was too late, bye..
And he ran away. Wen she open dat card,
It says: I miss u Babes. pls. visit my grieve, coz tomorrow is
my DEATH ANNIVERSARY. I commiTted SUICIDE d day u left me!
*****
” A LESS THAN”
bsta mga way ayo nga uyab!
ANgay..
“A LESS THAN”
*****
lami jud pminaw f nay ka “i luv u”
or f nay mg ask “ngkaon nka?”
pkapin “amping ha”labi na f nay mgsulti ug “i mis u”
bt f wla, don’t lose hope..pwd mn sad
i luv me
ngkaon nba me?
amping me!
i mis me!
wer na me?
naa na me!
SELF SUPPORT buh..pwd pah gni nobody, nobody but me! hahaa…
*****
Easiest ways to die:
Smoke a cigar daily… You’ll die 10 years early.
Have a drink daily… You’ll die 30 years early.
…
But love someone who doesn’t love you… You’ll die daily
*****
A bOy tOok a knifE & started writing his gf’s name On his arm…
sEveral minutes later..he started crying likE cRazy..
y??
paiN??nO!!
WRONG SPELLING…!!!
*****
BANA: tab-ang ang kape, bugnaw ang kan.on, lasaw ang sabaw! Unsaon mn pgkagana nato ini?
ASAWA: sobra nka ha! nireklamo ba ko gabii nga PARAT KAAYO IMONG ITLOG?
*****
Speaker: Who among u had xperience 2 have sex with a ghost?
(a farmer raises his hand)
Speaker: Really? How does it feel 2 have sex wd a ghost?
Farmer: Ai pastilan abi kog goats! Pastilan!
*****
Sa Math Class..
Tcher: kung naa koy 1 ka piraso nga karne ug 2ngaon nko, pila na ka piraso?
Buknoy: 2 mam!
Tcher: at kung 2ngaon pa nko preho?
B: 4 na mam!
T: 2ngaon pjud nko?
B: 8 na mam!
T:2ngaon pjudnko?
B:16 na mam!
T: 2ngaon pjud nko?
B:32 na mam!
T: kung 2ngaon pjud?
B: 64! (suko na)
T: ug 2ngaon pjud ug kduha?
B: Ipagaling nlng na mam ky malangan natah…
*****
Nasulayan na nako ang mahigugma ug biyaan,
Nasulayan sad nako ang mohilak ug masakitan,
Usa lang ang wala pa nako nasulayi…
Malibang nga mag dagan.
*****
If y0u d0n’t take g0od care of urself, we will take g0od care of y0u”..
-a reminder fr0m St. Peter’s Funeral H0mes-
“Ang iny0ng kamatay0n, am0ng kaugma0n”..
*****
Tul0 ka pin0y nga SEAMAN nga nagtrabah0 sa bark0, naghinamb0gay..
BOMIN: ang ak0ng l0lo, may0 kaay0 t0 nga mariner0, nakatuy0k na gud siya sa Pacific Ocean..
ISOY: ah! Wala ra na sa ak0ng l0lo mga abay kay nakalawig na siya sa red sea..
(day0n pangutana ngadt0 sa ikatul0ng seaman)
ikaw bay unsa man say im0?
POLONYO DAYOLA: ah! Lupig m0 bay! Mas banggiitan gyud t0ng ak0ng l0lo kay siyay nagpatay sa Dead Sea!!
HAHAHAHAHA!
*****
KANO: Isuroy ko sa CDO.
DRIVER: sige sir.
KANO: pila ka years gihimo ang Capiol Univirsity?
DRIVER: two years…
KAno:didto sa U.S 10 months lang na..
DRIVER: AH..
KANO: kanang cogon?
DRIVER: 1 year sir..
KANO: kaduay pud oi, didto sa U.S., 4 months lang na..
KANO: hmm. kanang Gaisano mall?
DRIVER: ambot, wala man na ganina.
*****
nagdamgo ko kagbie
break na daw me
grabe jud nakong hilaka
pagmata nko
kalit ko nakatawa
kalimot ko wa man diay koy uyab!
*****
Ngongo:mukha mu maputi!!
Asawa:hindi maputi and mukha ku
Ngongo:mukha mu maputi!!!
Asawa:di nga maputi ang mukha ko !!
Ngongo :ang abi ko mukha mu mabuti!!!
Anak Na Gising…..
Anak :Nay ,Buka mu daw mabuti sabi ni tatay…istorbo naman ohh !!
*****
Titser: verb is an action word, Juan give me an example.
Juan: went ma’am
Titser: very good use it in a sentence
Juan: Maria go went to town
Titser: wrong kung mugamit ka ug go wala na yang went
Juan: ma’am kanang Go apilyedo mana ni Maria
PAGKA BOLOKIS NGA TITSER!
*****
Titser: Kinzay guz2 moad2 sa langit? (tnan nitaas sa kmot,c pedro wla)
Titser: Ngano di mn ka pedro?
Pedro: Paulion kog sayo ni mama mam! hehehe
*****
Pari: Mahaw ta sister! Naa koy SHABU!
Madre: Ha? Unsa man na?
Pari: Shampurado ug buwad, ba! O, gus2 kag timo2x? Diay Pante!
Madre: Ha? Unsa man pud na?
Pari: Pandesal ug sikwate! hehe
Madre: BUTO lay ako!
Pari: Ha? ka bad gud nimo sister!
Madre: Kaw maoy bad! Bugnaw Tubig ba! hahahaha
*****
May nakakita sa akin sa dalampasigan,
malungkot at ng-iisa.
Sabi nya: “Kung mahal mo cya, bkit di mo ipadama?”
Sumagot ako, “Mahal sa imong mata, NAG-OUTING ME, NABILIN ko!”
*****
DRIVER: Dong, iatras nako ang jep, ingna ko palihug kung mabangga.
BATA: Ok! Cge atras! Atras pa! Cge pa! Atras gyud! Kana.
“BAAAANNGGGG!!!! OK! ..BAngga na!
DRIVER: YAWA!!!
*****
Sa laki ng earth,dba nakakatawa na nagkikilala tayo?
At sa dinami-dami ng mga tao, dba nakakapagtaka kung bakit tayo pinagtagpo?
Sabi kasi ni Lord,”Bazta mga KWANGGOLON,angay tapukon!”
*****
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking even when people are no longer interested?
Student: A teacher!
Teacher: Yati ha! Get one whole sheet of manila paper long quiz back to back!!
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Bata: Lord,give us this day our daily bread with ham,egg and cheese,french fries,salad on the side.
Ginoo:(Nitubag) Day, pagsure uy! Ga-ampo ka or ga-order?
*****
GIRL: manong, can you get my bagahe please? it’s like mabigat kasi eh.
KONDUKTOR: Alin dito miss?
GIRL: there oh! yong SAKO! Please pAki ingat lang kasi if it falls to da ground mahirap magpulot..ng “KOFRAS”
YABAG!
****
funny1
makayabag ^_^,..