The world’s best lovers are the Spanish men.

American men are considered worst too — being too rough in bed! Do you agree with the poll results?

World’s Worst Lovers:

1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too dominating)
5. America (too rough)
6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
7. Wales (too selfish)
8. Scotland (too loud)
9. Turkey (too sweaty)
10. Russia (too hairy)

World’s Best Lovers:

1. Spain
2. Brazil
3. Italy
4. France
5. Ireland
6. South Africa
7. Australia
8. New Zealand
9. Denmark
10. Canada

[photo credit: nydailynews.com]

The note was about friendship. Valentine was a good priest and I deem he cannot allow himself to fall in love with a girl and abandon his holy vows. He was after for friendship alone.

I ask, why do some people have to wear red or anything of that shade to attract potential partners on February 14th, when during this day of Valentine’s death he simply conveyed the message of appreciating our friends? I do not understand. The lack of a girlfriend or a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day seems to be a curse in this day and age. I do not know how it works here in the United States, but in the Philippines, if you do not have a ‘date’ on the 14th, you are a sure target of the ‘firing squad’.

To those deficient in English, firing squad is a method of execution where several soldiers agreeably fire to members of the condemned, typically restrained and hooded, common during the war era. In short, it is a supreme punishment of torture.

Firing squad interpreted in the light of Valentine’s Day means people (who happened to find their special someone in time for heart’s day) persecute the unfortunate loveless for sharing with Valentine’s feelings and believing that it is a day of friendship. Afraid (or tired could be the superlative word) to answer queries why they are still single and alone, the loveless take cover behind their office cubicles and pretend they have workloads to do. This way they evade irritating torments from happy-to-be-attached officemates who obviously need a lecture about the history of Valentine’s Day.

When I had this discussion on my blog, readers had different reactions about my perception. One said that the original meaning of Valentine’s Day may have been different. But what it has become, either due to tradition or commercialism, is something that each and every one should respect. Another said that, it has become a day for celebration of love – mostly romantic love. Even if you don’t have a special someone, it is just nice to know that a day has been reserved for lovers. It has been that for years and its positive impact in strengthening bonds and adding spice to every relationship can never be understated.

I am not against people who see it as a tradition of expressing love to someone dearest and therefore are obliged to follow, just to make my point clear. What I don’t like is the thought of doing it only on the 14th of February, when people could equally execute the same for the rest of the 365 days. Further, having no one special to celebrate it with is not frightful at all. I want everyone to know that Valentine’s Day is for you and me and for every other single soul attached or unattached – and the day could still become perfect even if you are alone.

Lastly, if you are alone [thesaurus: unattached, uncommitted, single, unmarried] on Valentine’s Day, don’t fret. Dial an unattached, uncommitted, single, unmarried friend and explain to him/her what exactly the day is all about. Odd maybe, but your friend will believe you. Besides, he/she is in the same situation as yours. So, for those who are unattached, there is still something good to look forward to on this day.

I have always questioned the efficiency and value of a long-distance relationship. Even before I experienced it myself way back, I knew, with sorts of things that could almost certainly play inside your mind, it would never work. Think of the pain that it might create in you and your partner in all variety of ways. Communication is the essential ingredient in the love concoction and being a great distance apart could injure the bond.

However, there are few stories that defy the belief that long-distance love won’t work. The partners hang to the thought that love drives in a mystifying route and whenever confronted with situations like lonesomeness or flashing doubts or impatience, all there is to do is to trust. If there is truth to the principle that absence makes the heart grow fonder, then it could greatly help make long-distance relationship last.

How to survive lonely days? I compiled a no-expert to-do list.

1. Keep busy! Read online news or start a daily blog.
2. When was the last time you sent a letter through the post office? I recommend you write letters via snail mail. The anticipation of when it will reach its destination and land safely on the hand of the recipient is sufficient to make you alive.
3. Share woes through emails and phone calls. Recognize that you are hurt as much as he/she is.
4. Get yourself a dose of humor especially when calling him/her. Laugh together. At the sound of your partner’s voice, do not break down like you will never see each other anymore.
5. It might be a little too much, but, smell the scent of his/her cologne or touch anything he/she has left behind.
6. Try to make contact with his/her friends and ask them to do little favors for you, like, to leave a sweet and simple note on his/her bed saying “I Love You”. However, do not do this often – to avoid possible suspicion. Your lover might infer you are up to his/her friend.
7. If you can afford it, give a surprise visit. It is costly but the other person will appreciate the effort.
8. When given a one-day-a-year chance to meet up, make that day extremely magical.
9. Write a song, sing in the shower. Write a love poem, memorize it.
10. It is not easy, but be tough. Always keep friends and family around you.
11. If you are employed, focus on your job. If you are unemployed, find a job. Do not put your life on hold just because your partner is not around.
12. Do not let depression get into you. Stay active. Go the gym. Jog with your friends!
13. Chat with a web cam.
14. Call your dog or cat or whatever pet you have by his/her name. This is to make sure you will never forget your partner’s name after 10 years of being apart.
15. Find a resting hole, e.g. mountaintop, park, beach, isolated coffee shop where you could be at peace with yourself.
16. Build a website for both of you! If, by any twist of bad luck, you will not end up together, there is always a delete button.
17. Remind each other how much you love one another.
18. If you live near a beach, send a message in the bottle. Fate can sometimes work on your side. No, lakes won’t work.
19. Pray. Pray genuinely.
20. Finally, end every conversation with hopes and desires for what you have at present and what the future may joyfully bring!

As they say, love conquers things. Hence, be positive about the relationship. Being far away from each other could be a very stressful business, but what you might endure today would make the future so much more priceless for both of you. God bless you both.

Let me detail the story of my Dutch friend Jacque; hers is a poster family for divorce. She was five when her mom discovered that her dad was having an affair with another woman. The discovery sparked series of unhealthy events between her parents, which eventually ended up in a divorce. For a while, Jacque and her younger sister bounced around between their parents before their grandparents had the custodial responsibilities. The custody issue confused her as much as the reason why her mom did not even attempt to acquire the rights to keep them both. Her mom frequented the night bars and so did her dad.

In her heart, she carried hatred for everything-for her hardhearted parents and for a life wretched and unfulfilled. She lived in fear of being sent away, as most defenseless days of her existence, her grandparents threatened of sending her to either her mom or dad if she not would oblige on things they wanted her to do.

Her sister ended up in a group of criminally inclined friends, who, at one point, stole a large amount of money from a store. She was into drugs and other illegal maneuvers. Later, she was brought to a psychiatrist, and the reason of her strayed life was blamed to a broken family.

I am certain that by now Jacque is already done with her college degree. She told me she had no plans of inviting her parents to her graduation day. Nor did she want to see them. She hated her childhood and teenage life as much as she hated her parents, who she judged as irresponsible and thoughtless.

This is but a tragic story of a broken family. The story of life in anguish. From a child so sweet, Jacque grew up into someone very hard to smile, as I noticed. Moreover, she doubted everything.

Who can blame her to question the context and sanctity of marriage for years of not being able to feel it from her own family? Who will care to convince her that marriage is not just a piece of paper, eagerly signed by two human beings before God and men, and yet to be windswept at a slightest pinch? Who is she to render love to the uncertainty of the sacrament-ending up living separate lives again? These were exactly the sentiments of Jacque who had experienced what it was like to live in a family ripped apart. For her, who had been so close to giving up, marriage was a waste of time!

However, we know it is not. Marriage is not like changing clothes, that once we don’t like it anymore, we can just toss it to a corner and look for something dazzling and new. It is an exceptional gift from God and a pledge for life. When couples promise to live together till death, it is also a rejection of their own selves, conquering their self-longings and accepting one another completely. Marriage is not changing a person but becoming accustomed to whatever he/she is and will be. It is learning to blend. It is surviving the unexpected insurmountable and getting it done till the end.

What if marriage will not really work for good? Then why enter marriage in the first place if we can’t put up with its aftereffects? The decision of marrying the one you love serves as a warning for all the consequences you could possibly think of once you are into it. Getting hooked up to, someone for eternity is giving your whole trust and somehow believing you would get the same trust in return.

We are weak; human as we are. But if both parties will work hand-in-hand and with God’s guidance, with plenty of prayers and with selflessness, marriage will work. Marriage will prosper!

We don’t need to hear another story like Jacque’s in this world where marriage is sometimes, if not oftentimes, reduced to trial and error. Is the scene of a child in anger and in pain a sight to behold? Many parents may not agree with me, but divorce must not be a medicine to cure. In my opinion, it is not a solution to healing emotional wounds. However, if you are a divorcee parent reading this and managed to raise your children to a normal, happy life, my congratulations to you.

I am still into the definition of a family – a mother, a father and a child under one roof. I am still into getting the right plans and working it right, believing things will work at the right place and in God’s divine hands. I do not want a situation where anybody can just remarry anyone at any time. It defeats marriage vows. Marriage for me is sacred and to go on with the relationship through thick and thin has its divine rewards.

Finally, love is a stunning thing to pledge ourselves to, though painful at times. But it is where we grow and mature in all things. Love should be the cure to heal and to motivate us again.

He is the composed gentleman. He is acutely aware that he is, at this moment, engaging in a world he never existed in so well. As you are about to read, he is on his way to dipping his toes into the relationship puddle after a significant bout of solitude.

It’s all because of Miss Eve. His heart has been lying dead for the past months. He could describe it as an organ that had lost its joie de vivre, the strength to possess that capacity to love. Yet, here comes Eve, pricks it with her smile and intoxicating giggles and a hip that sways to a rhythm she alone can create, and, without further elucidation, his heart realizes that there is life after death.

Therefore, as he sees it, it began for both of them. Him and Eve, the girl he secretly admires (or maybe salivates over is the right phrase) at the Student Union during lunchtime. In between the eating and the sipping is her face, beautifully carved at the forefront of his imagination whenever he fails to see her. But the times she is in, his world suddenly stops revolving and he thinks of a zillion what-ifs and how-tos. Her long, dark-brownish hair tempts him. Her round, stunningly-pretty eyes speak “come to me.” Every exquisite moment that goes by further consolidates her conquest over him.

He never made any authentic plan of finding her since he considers himself one of those individuals who finds pleasure living alone. Aloneness allows his artistic self to transpire. He is one guy who loves the fruit and the liberty of having no one to attend to in his life. However, there are flashing moments when the stillness and the breathing space that he wants could not just be purely his.

He never thought Eve could become his sweet Helen, who could push him to launch his thousand ideals to the extremities of nowhere. Eve is making him slowly surrender the sugary and harmless comfort of existing alone.

She is the reason of the engaging smile he wears and the benevolent mood he has each day. Honestly, it is hardly his doing to ask American girls for a date because he always falls short of the height requirement. Moreover, he isn’t a veteran when it comes to extracurricular rendezvous. Eve, though, makes him think otherwise.

The last time he saw her at the Student Union, she was with a guy. The incident left the composed gentleman standing motionless for some time. It was as if she just served him a whack full in the face. Oh yeah, so supersonic was the blow, so extreme, he heard the echo of it ping at the back of his head. But, as his heart strongly dictates, that would not stop him from falling for her.

He is not certain when or where their roads will finally, truly, entangle. He is very assured, though, Eve is going to arrive at a moment when she will feel her heart jumping purposely, crazily, to let him in.